Well what can I say that hasn’t already been said…LOTS! Love can be a battlefield…but then that’s not really love…innit…it’s hate. There’s only one love; divine love. Notice how it follows you around. But we know that. We have known that since time immemorial. Yet we fail at love at such a rate, one wonders, have we learnt anything. Love is so intrinsic to health that to divide it as two separate entities would be folly. We are at our healthiest when we are deeply in love. Divine love is sex, is health, is love. Once you have tapped into that, the rest of your life is just a matter of routine. That statement seems to elude those most intelligent. Too simple. Surely, love has to be a complexity of standards to abide by. Perhaps to some, love is taking out the garbage. Love is buying birthday presents and on time…or being financially independent. The opposite would be true; arguing and pridefully ignoring your loved one for periods too much to bare. We make love to mean many things and rightly so, it is. It touches all aspects of our lives. But to make it mean everything external doesn’t get to what love truly is. To me, true love is the love you have for yourself. Giving yourself the time to reflect on your inner landscape and surround yourself with an aura of light, just like a little baby’s. The smell of a little bub is divinely beautiful. Now, regarding the “New Ager”…and I’ve met plenty of those. “Tree hugger’s” or “Hippeees”. There are a lot of trolls that hang these types by the neck as soon as they mention the word Lurv. I myself…am not into anything. Religion, Science, New Age, Spirituality and Snobby Intelligence…I mean whatever. I don’t want to fight these types. So, which ever side of the proverbial fence they’re defending, let them. Phew…got tha’ outa th’ way.The subject of flirting is a contentious one. We have justifications coming out of our ring piece as to ‘why we can flirt’. But….Is flirting acceptable? Can flirting exist within a loving relationship? If you are in a relationship and find it necessary to flirt, how will that impact on the partner? Do you pull out that word “Jealous” to justify your flirtatiousness or is flirtatiousness ok, as long as you don’t stick it in right. Can we do pretty much anything as long as it doesn’t involve penile insertion. Good grief! What encompasses flirting then? What is acceptable flirting (if any) and what isn’t. Should we accept flirting as a norm in society or is there a more sinister connotation attached to it. Why do we feel the need to flirt? Is it not enough that we have our partner? Or when we get a wink from another person, do we respond or ignore it? Is having blind trust in our partner enough to cement the relationship or is trust something we have to earn? Does trust start with ourselves? Keeping your word. Saying what you mean and meaning it. People mistrust themselves let alone trusting others. Very few people you can honestly say you trust with your life. So what is the answer? The answer to life’s questions is get rid of the questions. Love yourself first before trying to love others. Selfish? NO! That way you both bring 100%. Usually we go in empty. Then use each other to fill that void…when they can’t fill that void (because it’s impossible)…you dump em! Good one. Next! Is having the need to be flirty, some unweilding insecurity that resides in our psyche? Is it a way of gathering more acceptance than your relationship can offer? Do we need the approval and acceptance of others to self gratify our ego or sexual desires? Is flirting our way of being loved secretly? Remembering, we aren’t with our partners 24/7, therefore anyone and everyone can potentially supply us with approval and gratification regularly. Does this show up our emptiness or is it a benign and harmless activity we do for fun? There are many, many different people that we meet…we can’t expect to put the blinkers on and avoid being loved from afar. Some people are oversexed and have a burning desire that never gets satisfied. One partner doesn’t seem to cut the mustard, so the other one flirts. But within a relationship, darn hard to keep flirting a secret. If you’re getting say 100% love from your girlfriend and one day that feels like 90%. Well, where is that 10% going? Perhaps that you are in the bad books for some objectionable misdemeanor you have committed against her, or could it be that your girlfriend is simply giving it away by flirting. I don’t mind flirtatious women, but usually, if not always, the dude gets a gut feeling that his girlfriends attention has been diverted. I mean…it only takes a second to fall for someone else. Middle Eastern culture prohibits women from being seen fully, just to secure and maintain a marriage. Now I appreciate that this might be a bit radical…but it works. The feminists say it’s oppressing women and there’s truth in that…but by what standard do we judge different cultures by…Westernised Standards? No. There has to be a middle ground whereby Western Standards meets other standards. This requires effort, change and adaptation culturally from all sides.
We react to each person we come in contact with in some form. To flirt or not to flirt! Choices. If it’s a problem to your partner, do we continue this practice or do we stop? If we stop, do we feel resentful because it is a deep part of us that needs continual nourishment? Our needs aren’t met. Do we change our partners needs in continuing this avenue of self fulfillment? No matter how much you argue this line, it will always end up in hurt, loss and trauma. No one likes to see our partners show love to another, no matter who is doing the flirting. I flirt. I love to flirt. It’s not a need per se. It’s something I do when I meet a woman that flirts with me and finds me sexually attractive. I respond. But, if I am in a relationship, I make it known that my heart is with my partner. I like to do it in front of her. And, I always make it known to her that I love her. I never make her feel like my heart just went south.Perhaps the only way through this is looking at the bigger picture. Karma will show you. Like night follows day, you can advise as much as you like with a lot, some, little or no results, but karma has a way of forcing you to experience “WHAT YOU DISHED OUT”. What you sow so shall you reap. If you think flirting is fine, wait, one day you will find out the answer. It’s not about morals or ethics. You will feel the same as your partner felt. You will feel all of those insecurities and all those hurts. You may feel fine with your partner flirting. If you do, then there are no lessons to be learnt. Move on. You can’t love another person. Impossible. You can’t pull love out of your pocket like coins and hand it to them. But with sex you can satisfy. We all feel the beauty of sex, always.
Putting inside your “bag of life” those principles that work for you in relating lovingly to family, friends and lovers, seems like a good idea. I have seen folk go from relationship to relationship and not “get it”, repeating the same mistakes, over and over. To me, love takes precedence over everything. Love over flirting. The sheer cost of lost love doesn’t justify flirting to me. Heart attacks. Loss. Despondency and depression. Health. The domino effect that impacts to those on the periphery is no justification to flirt. Some will say “Fuck you!”…”I will flirt if I want to and it’s you that has to have faith and trust that, showing my private parts and exchanging sweet nothings occasionally is ok…I get satisfied and you get to keep me happy and the relationship intact”. Oh…….ok…….I guess?. Is there something wrong here…or am I missing something vital. Is it a woman’s prerogative and poetic license to fuck up anyone along the way, just cos she said so. Just because “flirtatiousness” is etched into her DNA? Fuck NO! Nothing to do with DNA. But you catch my drift.
This is the problem with love. What I call Hollywood love, some call real love. The statement: “I fall in love” surely holds a clue to the condition we put ourselves in…namely…you place someone else above yourself. Hence, the “falling”. If that person whom you place above you were to leave….then love has gone. My fine point is this. If you are…well…full of yourself…meaning feeling divine. Then a breakup wouldn’t impact on you as much. If at all. You would be left with a feeling of Love, Beauty and Wonderment. A feeling of mmmm…..!You can’t see love, only feel it…the people around you can sense your love…that’s it. So when your girlfriend is near you and you’re full of your own love…she feels loved. Words don’t cut it. Unless, those words are coloured with love. Above is a Kirlian process that looks at magnetic fields discharging in water…quite beautiful.
1.Kirlian photography (ˈkɜːlɪən) n
- (General Physics) a process that is said to record directly on photographic film the field radiation of electricity emitted by an object to which an electric charge has been applied[C20: named after Semyan D. and Valentina K. Kirlian, Armenian researchers who described the process]
2. Kirilian photog′raphy (ˈkɪər li ən) n.
- a photographic process that purportedly records electrical discharges naturally emanating from living objects in the form of an auralike glow. [1970–75; after Semyon Dutch. and Valentina K. Kirlian, Russian technicians]
Now, your head or the thinking brain is quite another story. Thinking is the bane of society. Constructive thinking is normal and essential…but there hasn’t been a thinker yet that sorted out a personal problem by idle thoughts…EVER! Love is Divine Light…Love is a Harmony/Frequency/Vibe…Love is your Breath; Holy Name/Sweet…Love is a Taste; Nectar of the Gods. Once you are shown how to experience these four disciplines, your mind will be still.
You can’t experience Love and Hate at the same time. When your mind is still…your heart will love you. This love gives you wisdom and non-academic knowledge. You are able to see beyond the box you live in. Your problems seem menial, insignificant. You see the source of your problems as coming from your head with no basis in reality. Forgiveness is then hard to achieve and blame becomes the game.
If this synopsis seems a tad simple, I have achieved my goal. Complexities are everywhere and hard to unravel. Life could be simpler. Life is good, it’s our routines that sometimes suck. With the world being blanketed with heartless academia, financial turmoil, unnecessary wars, apocalyptic death etc…where is our Oasis in amongst all this mayhem. People are led by the nose and follow blindly. If they own a house. I have to own a house. If they say don’t drink coffee. I won’t drink coffee. If they say go overseas on holidays. I will go too. They think that is what they want. Yet no matter how many material possessions we acquire…we still feel empty inside. Nothing will touch that void. People are sincerely fearful subconsciously as to their future. We have to live our lives regardless of the surroundings and do the best we can.
I went to this website after listening to the radio. It was a breath of fresh air. This website…and it’s message rang true with me. It was a sentiment that I have held for decades. A sentiment that purports that ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ holds water. In the last two decades there has been a war on relationships and marriage. If you’re married for longer than 7 years..there’s something wrong with you. Marriage has been vilified and downgraded to zero. Women have lost their sense of direction as homes, clubs and pubs have become a battlefield. Men have been sitting on the sideline wondering what the hell!…What should I do? Everyone scared to commit to relating. Well lets dissect this notion for a minute. Why do marriages break up…(I consider marriage to mean relationships as well…firstly, that it’s heading towards marriage and secondly even if it isn’t, it’s still considered..legal) So that out of the way. When we as couples start to get familiar with each other, the opinions come out…contempt follows…then the bashing’s follow suite. The girls talk to the girls…compare notes and bitch about the men. This inevitably and potentially leads to divorce. It’s a course for disaster. One thing from the start for the girls to do is get rid of the ex-boyfriends slash boy friends lurking around your network. Be with the married couples. This way you have only one boy to contend with…HUBBY. He can be your favourite admirer. He is always there. You share everything. You accept their faults…and embrace the differences. I mean..if you both were the same…it would like being with yourself…unnecessary. That’s gotta be a win-win situation for longevity. Anyway without further a-do, here is the article…
1. Happy Wives Club