We all lie. We have since birth. We find it convenient. It get’s us out of trouble. White lies. Lies of Omission; lying by keeping silent, not telling, too scared, don’t want to hurt anyone. Lying is a symptom of society’s deep dark secret…who me? Honest men are a veritable rarity and always in trouble for telling it like it is. What happened to diplomacy? Is diplomacy like telling a white fib? Does it pacify or make it worse? I think you can be civil and not lie. Lying is much like greed, we like it but it’s killing us. We habitually lie to ourselves, perhaps unknowingly and even believing what we spit. We justify our lies in order to  secure it’s longevity so we can do it all again…free of guilt. Our society berates and devalues honesty and sets a bad impression of the human condition. Porky Pies. Lies are expedient. But some say “white lies are ok”…repeated long enough, becomes the pink elephant in the room. Women give poetic license to those interactions with their male counterparts…”ya gotta lie to be human”. You can lie as long as you don’t harm anyone. If you save the moment with a lie, then it’s imperative to lie. So where does reality start and stop? You pay the piper when you lie and where does one draw the line? How far do you go, when to stop? We are honest mostly until an awkward moment arrives. Face to face…a random and intense pressure surges, will we, won’t we…?honesty1What about “Santa” and kids. Do we prolong the lie so our kids can develop an imagination, a sense of magic and happiness in the belief that a fat man with a red suit came hurtling down a chimney, even with gas heating, foisting pressies upon the children of the world. I’m not altogether sure. It’s a big one. Oh and don’t debate this with parents or you will be put in your place quick smart. “Keep the lie alive and don’t spoil it for the children” they will tell you earnestly. Is it time we took Santa out of the equation. It could just be the catalyst that saved us from depression at Christmas time!. What would it be like without Santa. The whole Christmas notion is based on lies. Could we take out the commercial side (that we all abhor) and get it to a place and time of peace, family and friendship. Would that work? No presents kids. You will get your presents if you’re good throughout the year. Presents equals good behaviour. OK!honesty3A true story: a kid was having nightmares. His mother was worried and didn’t know what to do. After much deliberation, she decided she would invent a spray with perfumes and water and call it “The Nightmare Repellent Spray”…She told her son about it and that it would heal his nightmares and make them go away. Her son said “will it truly work mum”? The kid was 5yrs old. Innocent. He believed anything his mum said. “Yes son, it will make your nightmares disappear” That night mum sprayed her son. The next morning her son woke up fresh as a daisy…and…no nightmares. Is that a lie that should’ve been told? or should the mother have told her son the truth. A hard one indeed.honestyAnother story where mum told her family she was going to the hairdresser. She never came back. Family were devastated. A lie. Family have another interpretation about truth telling, I’m sure. And I bet it’s along the lines of good ethics and morality. Then again, some people can’t handle the truth and develop a talent for it. Some people feel so guilty, come clean with their past and tell everyone who they lied to, at any cost…ouch!! What if we could save a life with a lie? It becomes more difficult to know what is acceptable and what’s abhorrent. And sometimes we get so lied to we can’t believe the truth anymore. Empirical truth. Your truth isn’t my truth.

>We can work out our own standards and we must be age appropriate. We say different things to younger people than older ones..and those in between. Because in the end, to tell a lie is to disrespect others. They wouldn’t like it and you wouldn’t like to be lied to either. Making accurate decisions based on the truth will hold you in good stead.honesty2The criminal system usually navigates lying; skirts around the edges. Police, with all their fancy technology and scientific methods fail when dealing with the criminal element. They just don’t know who’s lying and who’s not. You can look at body language and an assortment of techniques but there are professional liars..masquerading fortune and folly. Even lie detectors fail at times. Police don’t call it “interrogation” anymore…they call it “interviewing”…its safer too. The Reed Model uses interrogation techniques and is “guilt presumptive” based, metering out confessions, no matter their innocence. The “Innocent Project” exonerates those on death row with DNA matching et al. The Police are mostly ‘Lie Biased’. People mostly ‘Truth Biased’. So total truth is difficult…try it and see.integrity The one thing that we lose when we lie is our integrity. Keeping our word. Our word is all we have. We lose sight of who we are and what we stand for.


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